SoxyWoxy

27d

I don't know how to explain to my best friend that I can't be there like they want me to every time they want it. they aren't wanting help for themselves mentally, they just want me to do things and sometimes I'm just not there enough.

Depression

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Bipolar Disorder

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  • Phy201

    27d

    I'm my experience, you can't be responsible for another person's mental health, even if you were completely healthy and able bodied. If someone isn't willing to help their own situation/ mental health, you can't do anything much more than put a bandaid on the problem.

    • SoxyWoxy

      27d

      that isn't the problem. They want me to do things that I am just not mentally able to do

  • Eren2273

    27d

    You have no obligation to be there for them like that. Constantly being there for someone and practically being responsible for their mental well-being is extremely damaging to your own mental health. If your friend can't accept that your own health and time is important too, it's time to stop being friends with them and find friends who actually respect you.

  • Skylarkbard

    27d

    "You wouldn't ask me to do this on a broken leg, so please respect that I can't do it in mu current state, either." If you think they'd listen, might be worth explaining the spoon theory

    • Eren2273

      27d

      I agree! Something like that might help them understand. But I also want to add that even if the poster wasn't in a bad place, they still wouldn't have to do that and they should clarify that to their friend too.

  • betsybetsybetsy2021

    27d

    I hear you. I live with someone who refuses help from everyone including me. They talk about what they want in the future but have no concept of what it takes to get there or that it requires change on their part. If their rock bottom doesn't require change, they can continue on forever. It really is an impossible person to help because they don't want to change and they think everything is fine. I went to therapy for years; I do Zoom meetings in front of them which never ask for your ID or even verify your real name. This person thinks everyone else needs to change to suit them. I was told not to fart while they were eating. This was a tiny little toot that escaped because I have digestive issues which I have told them before and they do not appear to have memory issues. I am sorry if your friend is also resistant to change. Be there when you can, but don't stress. The fact that you worry means you are a good friend for caring. Don't hesitate to set boundaries.

  • SecondChance

    27d

    Sorry you're going through that.

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