👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏾Sensory difficulties in a committed relationship👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏾

Kissing isn't really that fun for me.
I'm always worried about my breath and if my lips are dry. Also, if my partner's breath is even a smidgeon away from perfect, or if his lips are dry, I'm immediately turned off. If these things all work out, then yes, I enjoy kissing a lot. But reality dictates that these things are not perfect, the majority of the time. He never pressures me.

Truthfully, it's unfair to him because his love language is physical touch, and sex is how he feels the most intimate/ romantic. But my autistic self never lets us get that far. I feel guilty for shooting down all of his advances, due to my sensory processing difficulties.

I am a straight woman in a relationship with a straight man, for reference, but all input is welcome.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

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  • Katty


    I’m glad he’s understanding. I don’t have too much input since I am very touchy feely and have trouble recognizing personal space. I do have other sensory issues though and the best thing is always to make the environment sensory friendly. It may be hard, but ironing out those variables as best you can is probably the way to go. I like categorizing so I would make a list of what bothers me and why, then brainstorm how to fix it. (Ex. Both partners try to use chapstick at least once a day to minimize dryness. Or there’s a pre-intimacy routine that involves brushing teeth, applying chapstick, and getting rid of bad oders. Ect) Hope that’s some help! Wishing you the best.

  • kittenintheyarn


    Honestly, I'm on the spectrum too and am also a straight woman in a heterosexual relationship with a straight man... The sex is great and I don't like kissing most of the time either... So we have been together for nearly 10 years and we hardly ever kiss. We just do other things that work for us as individuals for foreplay (and some of our preferences are kind of wierd to most people but it works well enough I finally had to get fixed so we would stop having babies).

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