My mother passed away in October and I still can’t face m...

She wasn't angry at you, she was angry at her own self thinking she did something wrong along the way raising you and couldn't bare to see her child to go through that and not being able to help you. She wasn't mad at you, she was mad at herself thinking she did something wrong. Understand your mother and you will understand yourself too in the process. The saying "put yourself into other person's shoes" ...and you secretly know all of this. You feel empty because you aren't allowing yourself to except it all and grief. There is nothing wrong with grieving a loved one, forgiving them for their actions and words, let them rest in peace with an understanding of them and your own self.

I lost my mum suddenly October 2020 and we had a love/hate relationship all my life. She passed before we put it to bed. And I still haven't properly grieved her either. I know that empty feeling

Feel free to message me. I just lost my abusive husband.