How to cope with abusive parents when you can't afford to move out?

i live in the Bay Area as well trust me I know how difficult it is out here with rent being so high. i was lucky and found a place, and my partner helps me pay half the rent, but you can maybe look online and try to find a roommate situation or look up charities and churches they can help with rent sometimes or help redirect you to better resources, these programs are here to help

you all are so beautiful and amazing thank you ❤️ do any of you have tips about how you afford to move out? i live in the bay area in cali so it's super expensive idk where you guys are but tips are very much appreciated!

I was in a similar situation. Both of my parents were mentally and emotionally abusive, as well as struggling with addiction and untreated mental health of their own. I got out a couple of times with a friend, and had to return, due to the friend not wanting me around. I finally got out at 21 (2019) with my partner who I met through friends. I lived in their family home for a while, also a bit abusive but not nearly as much, until I was able to get a place with just my partner in May 2021. I will say I used to think I could not work, but i started off slow while living in their home. I also applied to as many state programs as i could, and utilized food banks for nearly everything I ate. While in an abusive home, a few things i found helpful were talking the folks into letting my room be my own space with boundaries (takes a few talks for sure,) not caregiving my parents either emotionally or physically anymore, walking away when they choose to start things and it is safe to do so, and focusing on me. Being able to take care of yourself and not focus on them was key for me. Also, finding people to rely on. Friends, cousins, partners, and a therapist you trust and enjoy. Being able to talk about things, and troubleshoot goals and plans with people who you trust helps. I also got a social worker, you can ask around at doctors offices or ask the DHS/equivalent in your area for resources. It can take some resilience, but knowing you have gotten this far already, I know you’ll be free of this and living your own life soon. You’ve got this! I’m always here to talk, I just may be slow on replies. Love and light. ❤️ 💫

I was in a similar situation when I lived at home. I left and never looked back at 18. My mother died when I was 11 and my dad started to abuse me and my brother with his new wife. My advice to you would be to just take a deep breath and remember this is only a small fraction of your life! I promise you life gets better it truly does. Keep your head up honey. I hope things get easier for you soon ❤️

I recently got out of a similar situation, my parents were very neglectful and my siblings were abusive. the home was unsafe, dirty, and we had no money or food. it was so stressful it was stoping me from keeping a job or doing anything i felt so hopeless. But trust me it gets better and you’re not alone. I finally moved away after 21, I thought I would never escape or have control in my life. But YOU are in control, take control of your life. Take things day by day so you don’t get overwhelmed, think in the moment and focus on things that will help you better yourself so you can reach your goals to leave toxic environment ☺️ I hope you’re situation gets better soon, im always here if you need to vent! Talking helps a lot, sending positive vibes your way! It’s all about having a positive mindset and not letting people take your happiness! It’s your life take control! ❤️

thank you everyone who's commented on here you all are amazing ❤️

However, if you do stay with them grey rocking is the best way to cope. It doesn’t fix the issue but it prevents escalation

It’s hard but moving out will help you thrive I started by renting a room and I’m so glad I did it

I’m not, in any way, trying to push my religious beliefs on either of you. I will however pray for you. I’ll pray for relief from these difficult relationships & living arrangements. God bless you both!

Thank you. I appreciate it. I hope it’s not weird but I’m actually gonna message you now

that means a lot, i appreciate you taking the time to share and let me know i'm not alone ❤️ if you ever need to vent i'm down to chat

I don’t have any advice, but I’m in a similar situation. I don’t talk to my dad anymore but I can’t afford to stop contacting my mom. She’s abusive and I can’t seem to get out of her house. Just know you’re not alone