Miky

23d

I’m really wanting to stop taking my meds. I feel like I shouldn’t, but I’m so in my head about how I shouldn’t depend my happiness on the meds that I’m taking. I don’t know what to do

Sertraline

Zoloft • Type: Oral

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

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  • WhiteFlamingo

    23d

    Let me tell you - I struggled with this for so dang long. I thought I wasn't a good enough person if I had to rely on medication. I absolutely refused to ask my doctor about anxiety meds because I thought "I shouldn't have to." "I shouldn't have to take pills to regulate myself. I shouldn't have to chemically balance my brain chemistry. I shouldn't have to because other people don't, and so I needing medication must mean I'm broken and unworthy." It didn't help that my life's experience with trying medications for my Tourette Syndrome ALWAYS resulted in horrible side effects and no help for my existing condition. Not only did I think medication meant I wasn't good enough, I thought that each medication I took was going to make me worse and worse as it seemed to be. I have been on Sertraline (hey, twinsies) since late September and it's the best thing I ever made happen. The things that changed my perspective were identifying what part of my OCD caused my refusal to take medication and a vulnerable yet heartfelt discussion with my boyfriend's mom. She encouraged me to just try the medication, that if I thought something was wrong with my body then I had every right to try fixing it. It was the most understood and seen I had ever felt by a non-therapist and non-crush. I finally came to terms with the fact that me needing medication was not a personal failure. Instead, recognizing I need it and putting myself out there once again to take care of myself was incredibly brave. It also really helped knowing my dad takes Sertraline, so I was able to try the same thing first. Try to analyze the effects of your medication without thinking in circles (I believe in you). Does it truly help you? Do you feel more capable of doing things? Are you better able to manage your symptoms now compared to before? If yes, keep taking it. If no, try another medication or therapy. Actually, try therapy either way if it's possible for you. Therapy is great. I didn't know I had OCD until going to therapy. The point is, your OCD will make up any excuse to make you stop doing the things you love and know are good for you. I once considered skipping a social event for fear of people hating my socks. My OCD said they would hate me forever and I'd be lonely and sad. You don't need to make the OCD thoughts go away. You can live with them peacefully (it takes practice). But you also don't have to do what they say. (That's also why I recommend therapy - particularly with an OCD specialist. They can help you with that stuff). If you do decide the medication really isn't helping, don't stop abruptly! You need to be weaned off. Get instructions from your doctor for that process.

    • WhiteFlamingo

      23d

      Sorry for such a long message. This just really hit me in the feels and I want you to know you're not alone and I want to help you if I can.

    • Miky

      23d

      wow. This actually really helped me a lot! Thank you! I always thought I was the only one who struggled doing things because of the fear of one small thing. It makes it hard to go outside because I find one thing that I don’t like about either myself, or what I wear. I can leave my house without changing sometimes. OCD is such a terrible thing to live with sometimes. I find it harder to want to take my meds because I don’t know anyone else personally that also takes meds, and I don’t really feel too much support from my mom with taking them even though I’m an adult

      • WhiteFlamingo

        21d

        You're definitely not alone in getting blocked by small concerns. On a bad day, I can still have a small meltdown over my food touching or having to make a phone call, even with my medication. I feel like people with OCD have a hard time finding support because we know that our concerns are not normal, so we are afraid to say anything for fear of rejection. Or maybe that's just me. Knowing that my dad took anxiety medication certainly helped. For me, it was less of a social thing and more that I had somewhere to start. I was convinced I would go through many medications like I did with my tic medications. To be honest, your mom doesn't get a say in your medication. I know it makes it difficult when you get pushback from your family about big decisions, but it's truly not her business. She has no idea what your struggles are and doesn't get to give you a hard time about how you are treating them. If it helps, now you know me as someone who takes meds. 🙂

  • HarlowGrayson

    20d

    I took meds from 2015 early 2022, and I decided to take a break. It was definitely a learning experience. IF you come off them, you have to have a support system, a plan of action, happiness inducing things you can do, etc

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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