bby.tricia22

45d

AITA for not wanting to be friends with my childhood friend anymore?

i have known her since 2nd grade and we have always been pretty close— until high school where we got separated and didn’t attend the same school. we finally got back in touch in 10th grade and would text off and on. during the summer of 2020, that’s when things started to go left. she would like to gossip about everyone we knew, talk behind people backs and just be straight up mean sometimes to people and i haven’t felt comfortable around her. to get to the point; i recently found out that my dad has prostate cancer and i confided in her because she’s my ‘best friend.’ all she responded with was “oh ok,” and completely ignored everything i had said.

am i doing the right thing by cutting ties with her? what should i do? any advice would be nice. :)

Depression

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • ForeverFatiguedCat

    45d

    That's completely up to you. The ball is in your court. If she isn't there for you, and you simply don't like her energy, you're an adult and can explain that. Even if she's toxic, everyone deserves closure. Every person always has the potential to grow as a person. Have you pointed out to her the things that she says that make you uncomfortable? Communication is key.

    • bby.tricia22

      45d

      i have tried communicating with her but it doesn’t seem to work. she would alway change the subject or have short responses like “ok” or “k”.

      • ForeverFatiguedCat

        45d

        It definitely appears she is not present for you as a friend. What did you tell her in regards to the communication and have you been blunt with her?

  • Kiwis

    45d

    This sounds strangely similar to my story with my ex best friend, with of course a few major differences. We weren't friends for as long but I noticed her crappy behaviour in 2020 as well for the first time, she would gaslight me just for me not to notice because I put all of my trust in her, when she had always been two-faced and people warned me but I wanted to be loyal. at the end of the day, communication is always ideal. If you're able to have that conversation with her where you feel safe telling her that what she said hurt you, that is for sure ideal. BUT. if you feel anything like I did, where she doesn't respect your boundaries, is willing to gaslight you to get her way/ not tell you the truth, argue with you when you try to kindly correct her shitty behaviour, and throw a tantrum every time she gets called out? that friendship might not be worth your time. I learned a lot of friendships will die and so many people still mentally live in high school, with the drama and the problems constantly. The problem with my ex best friend wasn't that I didn't feel like having a proper conversation to end things, it was that I was never going to have the chance because I couldn't open up to her about my vulnerabilities. she was not to be trusted, so I didn't get my closure. you have to know which battles to choose, and to let go. experience helps with that a lot so it's okay to make mistakes. at the end of the day, you deserve to be happy and I think your friend has been a bit inconsiderate to your feelings, but you might sincerely consider the pros and cons to your friendship and make the decision that feels right to you- even it it's really difficult. I truly hope what I've had to say helps at all, much love 🧡

    • bby.tricia22

      45d

      thank you so much for sharing your experience as well! ❤️❤️❤️ it helps me out a lot!

      • Kiwis

        44d

        you're very welcome!

  • Gwen71

    45d

    🙏

  • italianxpeaches

    45d

    No you are not. People part ways for many reasons, even close friends. I haven't talked to my ex best friend of 13 years in going on 2 years now because they were very toxic in the end (and given I was a little bit too) so I figured we needed to grow on our own. So don't feel guilty. As someone told me recently, if someone departs your life for whatever reason then they've served their purpose for being there and you shouldn't feel sad about it.

  • AnimalBoy

    45d

    I would definitely cut ties, it sounds like you've done everything you can and put effort into the relationship that she isn't willing to reciprocate and that is most definitely enough. People change and stop being compatible and it sounds like you have other important things to put your energy into.

  • bellacourse

    44d

    You are definitely not the a-word here. Sometimes history doesn't equal chemistry, and just because you have a history with someone doesn't mean you have to continue to be friends with them. People grow and change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The important thing is to surround yourself with positive, loving people, otherwise it is extremely draining and takes so much out of you. You deserve to have amazing friends who will support you and be there for you no matter what. Look after yourself first. Also I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope things get better for both of you ❤️

    • bby.tricia22

      44d

      thank you so much! i really appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      • bellacourse

        44d

        Of course! And if you ever need anyone to talk to my dms are open! ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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