Feeling Fundamentally Wrong and Exhausted

We feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with us, after years upon years of abuse and neglect I can sort of understand why we feel like that, but I just don’t know how to get out of it. We don’t have any people we can reach out to and the despair we feel because of that and other things is unbearable. Not only that but we have the rest of today and tomorrow to prepare for school. It feels like our body is being torn apart or falling apart because of how exhausted we feel. We are so exhausted and tired on a mental but also physically level. Even if we had someone we could connect with, we would probably just scare them off, feel like a burden, or not have the ability to open up or feel safe. We also can’t just get a therapist because we have medical trauma and if we were to get a therapist we would need someone who specializes in trauma and dissociative disorders. Even then though that would make us feel even less safe and just cause reminders from the past. I don’t know what to do.