ThatOneNerd

204d

The past month or so has been tough. It’s finally become clear that my whole life of bipolar, insomnia, constant fear, irritability and a million other issues perfectly fits with Autism traits. I’ve had multiple informed people tell me this over the years but I never wrapped my head around it or did the research. It’s like my life makes sense now. My parents never paid attention to it even though thinking back I showed SOOOO many signs. They thought absolutely nothing could be wrong with me, so I got absolutely no accommodations and was taught that literally everything I struggled with was my own fault that I could “just choose to do better with.” I was pushed to the limit with mandated excellent grades, highest classes and achievements etc. I constantly expressed my sensory discomforts (primarily feeling absurdly hot and motion sick nearly every day) and they just thought it was a “preference” and often (and still do) not take me seriously. I have ADHD and they didn’t help even though my teachers told them. I’m just so upset with how I’ve been treated and resentful because I’m suffering now. I’m almost 25 now and have been masking around everyone my whole life. PTSD has only made it worse. I feel like absolutely no one understands me (and I think everyone’s annoyed with me 24/7.) The therapists I’ve been seeing just brush it off when i talk about spectrum. Thanks for listening….if anybody wants to chat about ASD I’m always here.

Irritability and Anger

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  • Brittaney

    204d

    I understand what you're saying, and I feel like I'm going through the same thing. It seems like no one believes me. I even have to wear headphones everywhere.

    • ThatOneNerd

      204d

      yes, it’s a hard process and feels like nobody understands. Pm me if you want to chat.

  • RR

    204d

    That sucks i hate when they do not listen. Sensory issues are so palpable that when you have them its literally like wearing clothes that do not fit, just lose all swagger and go bitter or freeze up the productive frenzy or just blow up like baking soda but less cool. My parents tell me the phrase “we cannot read your mind” so showing signs, though obvious to you, may have went over their heads. I know because when i start a sentence with “i feel symptoms of …” my lets say therapist would be like “?” And i would be like “ 😥” and then he would say “that makes sense” so i will end my rant with a quote from Superman’s mom because of the way you started this post i belive this quote is relevant: “to dwell in the past is to lose ones path” ❤️ anyway superman is autistic like they literally say he is an alien like thats how i feel !!!!! 👽

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