My therapist has brought up ketamine infusions (for treatment resistant depression) for the second time, and I honestly don’t know what to think of it. I know and understand the basic physiology of it, which affects the thought process. I’ve heard negative reviews for it for pain management, but positive for depression. My therapist has even done it and recommends it. I’m just scared though. I’ve tried CBT once, and I almost killed myself that summer. When my therapist repeats things that I say back to me, I think it sounds ridiculous and that I shouldn’t feel that way. Then when we reframe my thoughts, it’s like I always find a loophole. I’ve tried 4 different antidepressants, and I’m currently on one that seems to at least help so I’m at least semi-functional the majority of the days of the week. I’ve realised that my mom is also depressed, but her thinking and impressions have shaped what was “normal” in my mind. I’m beginning to think that struggling with ADHD, anxiety, and (sometimes when it flares up) PTSD, and seasonal depression is enough on top of my regular depression. But I feel like I shouldn’t be having such a hard time because other people can get things done while they have depression and ADHD, which both lead to anxiety. I feel like I hardly know what is considered “weak” anymore.
Fluoxetine • Type: Oral
Just letting you know, genetic medication testing exists. My therapist is the one who told me, my doctor never told me a thing. So I was suffering on different meds for years when I could have just gotten the genetic test so I could see what actually works with my genetic makeup. I'm not quite sure where you are, but, hopefully your area has specialists who can provide one. I have state insurance, so that's how mine was covered. My doctor won't listen to me about my medical issues or anything, so I took a DNA ancestry test kind of thing so I can see what runs in my family so I could actually see what could be wrong with me. I'm not sure if that's a thing or if doctors will do that, but I know that genetic med testing exists at least.
This stuff is very useful so I would second this! Sure, some doctors don’t fully believe it, but it at least gives a guideline of whether your body may or may not be able to metabolize certain medications and if they may cause more side effects. I don’t know which one this commenter took, but Genesight is the one I took and they are pretty thorough with their reports and it’s helped me not have any more severe side effects with new medications. Would definitely ask about it!
I guess I’ll work from the bottom to top. NEVER compare your accomplishments to others, even if they have similar mental illnesses. It’s unfair to you and will make you feel like you’re not adequate even when you’re doing stuff up to your limit. Self-awareness is very good when dealing with mental illness, so good job on finding some semblance of self-awareness to your thought patterns and how they’ve been shaped! :) CBT also wasn’t for me though and led to multiple anxiety attacks during my therapy sessions which y’know… isn’t recommended. Just know not every method is for everyone, and sometimes it takes a long time to find the right method. I haven’t really found mine yet, but that’s just something you learn as time goes on, so don’t feel discouraged. For the ketamine treatments, some other members of my IOP had tried it out for C-PTSD, PTSD, and depression, and all noted at least some positive effects if not overwhelmingly positive effects. Again, it isn’t for everyone, but it’s a treatment that you can at least say you tried. No clinic is going to just give you ketamine and wish you good luck, it’s very similar to psychedelic treatments where they guide you through it. I hope you’re able to find some relief, and we’re all here for you :)
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