strawberrydog

175d

My mom just found out that I posted LGBT related things on an Instagram that I never gave her the name to, she’s mad and ignoring me.

I want to relapse so bad right now but then she’d just be disappointed with me again. I just want to have a nice child/mother relationship but it seems like I never will because of my sexuality and beliefs vs her beliefs.

Self-inflicted injury

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  • willownie

    174d

    If you're in a space that's safe enough to do so (no risk of physical abuse or being kicked out), try to educate her. I know this seems impossible, but it truly was what helped me when I was in almost the exact same situation. In high school I was under intense scrutiny of my mom for being gay, and she somehow never realized she was doing it. Older people have so many unconscious biases they've never had a person they love question. Ask her what about you being gay effects. Ask her how it makes her feel, validate that her feelings have a basis in loving you. Put her beliefs under a microscope. The last time I visited my mom, I confronted her about her behavior towards me being a lesbian and how it impacted me. She hadn't realized she'd done most of it, and what she did recognize had been out of ignorance. I made her explain to me why gay people were everything she had assumed, and in the end she was a stammering mess. Because she had nothing to say beyond her personal emotions or the emotions peers expressed for most of her life. Now I'm working on deconstructing those prejudices with her, and I've begun to recognize a lot more respect fron her.

  • andyiguess

    174d

    I'm so sorry your mom is not accepting and is treating you that way. I understand wanting a good relationship, but if you're compromising who you are to avoid disappointing her, you may want to consider if that relationship is bringing you more bad than good. If you are thinking of relapsing, please try to reach out to someone who can keep you safe. I hope things get better.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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