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Feeling Alienated Because of Chronic Illness

Hopealaways

646d

Have any of you been told that your chronic health issues are “too much “ for people. I had a neighbor tell me that , saying that she “understands chronic health problems,” yea right , but that I’m “too out of it .” I have sever fibromyalgia, and sometimes have painsomnia. It makes me feel bad like I’m an alien .

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Anemia

Migraine

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    • Fitness

      48d

      I have been concerned about the same, especially when lacking sleep. I have found some people to be my "safe people" or "support people" while I practice masking around others. Sometimes I look back and realize I should have canceled plans or not posted something online because I was in a very strange state. We accept you here, even when you are feeling at your worst. We understand. ❤️

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    • Kate1985

      640d

      Having voices in your head is DEFINITELY too much for people. I know those that are “soft” would freak. It’s awful, certain ppls reactions.

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    • crash101

      644d

      I've lost relationships because of them. Hell can't get a relationship because nobody wants to deal with my issues.

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    • Firbo

      645d

      First off, I’m sorry you have to go through this! I also suffer from severe fibromyalgia as well. When people say things like this I understand unless you or a loved one is going through this you just cannot fully understand. And… I just pray they never have to know what it truly is that we go through. I’d never wish this on anyone! Just keep your chin in the wind and place on foot in front of the other! You are a strong person and you are not an alien. You are a person who has an individual purpose! Don’t let anyone steal your true identity from you with their issues! Blessings!

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      • Hopealaways

        644d

        @Firbo thank you for saying this . I’ve ended up becoming more secluded and depressed since people feel it’s appropriate to tell me that “I look stoned ,” when I’m in painsomnia, or say very cruel things . I’ve hit a real down slope. People really think it’s cute to judge . All this criticism and judgement makes it feel like there’s no place I belong . There’s no one who understands.

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        • Firbo

          644d

          @Hopealaways I understand where you are coming from. I know lots of my family and friends don’t know what to say or how to act around me now. I also know some can’t handle how this syndrome changed the dynamics of our relationship. Then so many people compare themselves to us. The thing about comparing is either you are comparing your strengths to others’ weaknesses, or you are comparing your weaknesses to others’ strengths. It just never works. Just remember, you have absolutely nothing to prove to anyone! You are exactly how you were made! You are you if you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or doing your best to get through the day in one piece. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. I have been blessed with success in my life before my illnesses. Now I am unable able to maintain these high-level positions. Most of the people I thought were my best friends have all but disappeared. I can no longer keep up with them. But, that is okay. I only want the people who I know to be there for me. Not me who can ski black diamond runs, or me who can run three-day relays, or me who holds a certain title in a company, or me who can …. I want those who like me when I’m too fatigued to walk to the mailbox, or the me who’s in too much pain to uncurl from a ball on my bed… I feel most of us here understand you and what you are going through. At least to a certain extent. You are not alone. You are enough exactly like you are. You are enough exactly where you are. It’s difficult to ignore those who are judging us but, remember, most of them are upset with things in their own lives, and they are projecting their issues onto you. Try not to take their insecurities, failings, and shame to heart! I know it often sounds cheesy but, try setting the alarm on your phone for once an hour to tell yourself affirmations. Celebrate the small victories throughout the day and remembering you are who you are supposed to be. If that is offensive to some? As long as you are doing your best to be a good person… That’s on them. Not on you! It’s always the darkest before the dawn! I bet you have encouraged a lot of others here on this app and in life alike! I am sorry you have to go through this! But, I know you have greatness on the other side of struggle! Don’t let others steal your joy or withdraw! Continue to encourage others along the way! Blessings!

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    • diamondmama

      645d

      I have four diagnoses that I'm trying to get disability for. My family keeps asking me when I'm gonna get a full-time job. This is almost impossible for me and they don't get it. When I talk about my issues they change the subject. I think some people just don't know how to deal with health problems. Think of it as their problem not yours and just take care of yourself!

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      • Hopealaways

        644d

        @diamondmama trying to . It’s just been too much lately .

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      • faerywyrm

        644d

        @diamondmama even when family is trying to be supportive, I am the "designated sick person." Social Security is way behind the times. I know, as I am fighting them too. Disability is at least ten times tougher to get now for citizens as it was 20 years ago. Keep at it and they will get tired of the fighting. One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. Doesn't make it any easier 😕.

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        • Hopealaways

          644d

          @faerywyrm I need disability. I was in a hit and run last week . Cops didn’t get the guy , but it’s made my spinal issues worse . Just making life useless

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    • Scoutie

      645d

      🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

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    • faerywyrm

      645d

      Bipolar disorder is nearly the worst to manage with other people and their misunderstanding. Subject hopping and extreme moodiness are often viewed as alien behavior. No one seems to be able to keep up, not even me!

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    • faerywyrm

      645d

      I can relate. My family thinks I am either overstating or beyond help. Severe fibromyalgia is no joke. I find myself couchbound often. Add in other chronic issues and it's a recipe for disaster.

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    • Dorkasaurus

      646d

      Yes. Sometimes when my family is stressed/worried about me they'll say so. They'll say the wrong things at the worst times. They just feel overwhelmed that I'm in so much suffering that isn't being adequately treated by Drs yet (I keep gaining new diagnoses that are incurable & hard to treat) and they have no idea how to help. Which is fine but I don't like them making such scary statements mentioning "group homes" and "you expect us to take care of you like this?" It's terrifying. It's taken many fights for me to realize they don't mean it as a threat. But. As I've told them before, I'm really not okay with them sharing their anxieties with me in a harmful way. It's not even so much about hurt feelings that I draw that boundary, but it's dangerous to feed into my paranoia bc it causes issues in me seeking help and having tension and safety concerns at home. They're so damn stubborn respecting that, forgetting that if I'm triggered enough, I can't fight against the paranoia. Seriously, if they want to have desperate emotional conversations like that where they can be careless with their words, they need to go talk with their friends and family. I only have them. That wasn't meant to be a dump lol. I just could relate it as an assholish comment of concern. But even people with good intentions have to be careful with their words because it can affect us greatly.

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    • StormyGirl89

      646d

      I get told the same thing about my migraines and neuropathy

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    • mrsking0322

      646d

      I know how you feel. I often get told that about my mental illness as well

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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