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Dealing with the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse: How Teasing Affects Me Now

Zoinks

592d

I lived with a narcissist for 20 years. Teasing was his main form of psychological manipulation. He used it humiliate and belittle me. I've left that situation now and am getting help, trying to heal from it. But the main thing I struggle with is what should come off as playful teasing from friends. It makes me feel so small and so easily angered. They could just joke around and say that my favorite fast food place is trash. Or correct one of my typos and make fun of me for it. It's all in good taste, but my brain sees it differently. It triggers me, sends me into a fight response, and I can even have a panic attack. I just wish I could get over this. I wish I could be more normal so I could interact with my friends without having to ask them to alter their behavior to accommodate me, all because I'm broken.

2

7

7

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Depression

Complex post traumatic stress disorder

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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Top reply
    • Dorkasaurus

      591d

      @Zoinks You're doing great! I understand how hard it is to set trigger boundaries. Any form of trauma reprocessing therapy (I particularly like EMDR) can be helpful for those triggers to not affect you so much. It can feel really good to be able to take back some control when it comes to PTSD.

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    • snez

      592d

      What Fairwind said. They should understand and be ok with not teasing you as long as you don't tease them, double standards are usually not appreciated

      1

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      • Zoinks

        591d

        @snez Got it, thank you. I'll make sure I don't end up hypocritical about it 👌

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    • Fairwind

      592d

      If they’re actually your friends they don’t want to hurt you. Telling them that you don’t enjoy being teased is a perfectly acceptable boundary. You get to decide how people you spend time with treat you. The fact that it’s a trigger is a big deal and is not something to be ashamed of. The best way to start healing is to not punish yourself for your reaction to trauma. You’re not going to be broken forever ❤️

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      • Zoinks

        591d

        @Fairwind I appreciate the insight, thank you. I thought I was trying to be too controlling in asking them not to tease me as much, but I see now I'm just setting a healthy boundary.

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        • Dorkasaurus

          591d

          @Zoinks You're doing great! I understand how hard it is to set trigger boundaries. Any form of trauma reprocessing therapy (I particularly like EMDR) can be helpful for those triggers to not affect you so much. It can feel really good to be able to take back some control when it comes to PTSD.

          2

          Reply
    • AriEden

      592d

      just say abuser.

      0

      Reply
      • Zoinks

        591d

        @AriEden My "abuser" was a genuine Narcissist, so I'm not throwing around the term lightly. I'm going to leave you with this excerpt of an article from Psychology Today. "Many people suffer true pain at the hands of severely narcissistic loved ones, especially the manipulative type known as malignant narcissists. Victims of these extravagantly self-centered individuals can be so debilitated by their experiences that they are left with post-traumatic stress disorder. Being able to label an abusive parent, partner, or friend a narcissist can give sufferers genuine comfort, providing a name to the source of their distress, and the distance needed to heal and move on." Next time think before you post.

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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