dink25

258d

I'm my mom's caretaker. (She's 52) I help her with pretty much everything. Taking her to her doctor's appointments, refilling her medication every week, making her all her meals, etc. I love my mom but I feel like she's slowly starting to not do the things she can do by herself. I feel like she wants me to do everything for her (even the little things that she can still do) and it's really taking a mental toll on me. I think my depression is getting worse because of this. Any thoughts/advice?

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)

Hypertensive Heart Disease

Depression

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  • Mrcat

    258d

    That’s tough, obviously you want to help her with any needs she has but nobody likes being taken advantage of either have you tried talking to her about it or maybe getting her a part time nurse? I know that there’s programs where you can get nursing assistance for free or at a really low cost

  • MisterShadow

    258d

    What is her condition if i may ask? your feelings are very normal,and if you truly feel that this is something that needs to be addressed asap,i would say approach her without delay,regardless if it makes you feel guilty because you are human,and your happiness matters just as much as hers.

    • dink25

      258d

      thanks for your reply. She has COPD, Congestive Heart Failure, Asthma, and Scoliosis

      • MisterShadow

        257d

        Sorry for the delayed response. she does have some fairly serious conditions,but, i have never taken care of someone like this so you would know more than i would about whether you feel that she can at least help in a limited fashion to alleviate some of the strain you ARE feeling because it certainly doesn't benefit her if your overwhelmed.

  • AudgePodge

    257d

    Hi! Sorry you are experiencing those feelings... many people who care for loved ones experience something called "caregiver burnout". Do you think your mom knows what kind of a toll her requests are taking on you? Perhaps she doesn't realize the extent of how much strain she is putting on you. I think it would be beneficial for you both to sit down and have a dedicated conversation to talk about how you are feeling, and for you to describe the tasks that cause you stress. Of course your mom can express her thoughts and feelings to you too. You may need to set limits on how much you are able to take on and reinforce a need for additional help.

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