Therapy too expensive, resorting to self-help

I'm sorry to hear that, looking for a therapist is always a pain, I'm still searching for someone qualified myself. It's great that you're journaling too, it's more helpful that a lot of people realize. Just make sure not to give up on finding counseling all together, there are lots of providers online that could be a great match a much better pricing. The BetterHelp service is a good place to look. While they might not be in person there's a lot of therapists with much more affordable rates.