Struggling with Anger: Seeking Advice for Dealing with BPD

Anger is the hardest part of this disorder so far for me. Not only is it frustrating to feel that way over the smallest stuff, but one of my biggest things is the reaction I get from those around me. I get called dramatic A LOT. That is so triggering for me. I imagine myself beating people up all the time. I always feel like no one will ever understand what I'm feeling. I've had people say they experience anger, it's not unusual, but BPD anger can be terrifying. Not to mention, the regret after you do something horrible to someone is gut wrenching. I wish I had words to describe what living with this disorder is like. I simply don't think there are words.

Anger is the worst part of my BPD too. I struggle with it when I'm not medicated. I don't work right now because I was always being thrown off by things that weren't in my job description, the job being too exhausting for me, co workers demanding too much of me, etc. Or I would come in doing my best and it wouldn't be appreciated. I always am scared that I'll snap one day and murder my cats or do something to my partner I'll regret later. What helps me though is vaping or distracting myself. Listening to music tends to help the most for me.

I have so much trouble with anger as well. It is by far my worst emotion to experience. I usually end up self-harming when I am angry- not a good solution. I do not recommend it. I haven't really found a way to discharge all of it but I found getting a punching bag and kickboxing gym membership to be really helpful in getting rid of a lot of it. I can just punch until physically exhausted and it helps lower the internal angst associated with anger.