Struggling with Bulimia and Fear of Treatment

My mother caught me purging a few days ago, she literally saw me doing it and it was one of the most unexpected and scariest thing for her to witness. EDs run in my family, and my aunt almost died from one. I am being forced to attend therapy and she is monitoring what I eat and stuff and wont let me go to the bathroom or outside after eating. My boyfriend is also trying to make sure I don't puke. I can not see myself recovering just yet, and I feel like if she knows I did it again I will be sent to a impatient program. I just can not control myself, if I dont purge I will panic and cry. Not to mention, ever since those days ago everything feels different and I wish she never caught me. How can I deal with the fact I'm probably going to be put somewhere one day? I don't want that feeling taken away from me. Can someone just tell me everything's fine..