Feeling Miserable About Family Dinner

PS you have already decided how you're gonna feel. Why not try telling yourself'" I'm tired now but I might feel better, in a couple of days" or "I can go and leave, if I feel bad" I find that my thinking is a big part of my limitations. You can b tired but not miserable. It has taken me many, many yrs to understand this, on a deep level. Yes, I have a chronic illness, yes. I can make it worse by my thoughts about it. I was always focused on being angry b/c I was robbed of the energy, for a normal life. I had to stop looking at it like that,or I was headed for suicide. If you are depressed you can't think positively. So if upu are, keep trying everything tobget rid of it. I finally found something that stopped it(cheap genetic test found a mutation)and I can look at my illness differently. I now love & treat myself better. I have given this over to a higher power, that I don't understand , but it helps and try to look at what I can do. I'm not preaching, I'm just sharing that the difference in my thinking has made my life so much better. I'm not physically any better but I'm mentally better. I try to stop seeing how bad I'm gnna feel, tomorrow and be grateful for what I can do, right nw. Sometimes I can't do anything but I've stopped expecting bad days &r outcmes( I'm writing this as a reminder for myself, too, as it is so easy to slip back into "my life is hell and I've lost everything". I've been living with this for 20 yrs and finally at 66, I'm on the right path with my thinking. Hope this helps, a little. I'm always here if you need to share. We need support and it isn't easy to get from ppl who don't have typical illnesses & sometimes no diagnosis. So, be good to yourself and if you can, imagine how good it would be to see your cousin. If you're only doing it out of o obligation, send him a text. Normal people will never understand what our fatigue is like .Just like a non-addict will never understand an addict. Those who shame or blame, you can hopefully get outof your life. We live in a small world. I'm alone, but I'm OK with it, now. Hoping that you feel a little better soon ❤️

You could try contacting him and letting him know thst you're not at your best & that you may not be great company. Sometimes, when I'm feeling fatigued,, I tell myself I'm too tiref to do something that I really want to do.. If I drag myself there, I find being around other people, refocuses me & feel better. If there are issues with your family, it might not be good for you. Then, you could ask him to come see you or meet close by. This way, you are letting him know that you care about him. He won't feel blown off & you won't feel guilty.

I'm sorry you're in this situation! I totally get how draining fatigue can be, I've missed family events because of it as well. Your dad shouldn't be upset with you for something out of your control, it's not your fault that you're sick. I don't know if this is helpful or if you're looking for advice but maybe if you're up to it you could recommend doing a video call with everyone? You can do it from the comfort of your bedroom and still connect visually with your cousin and others. I know it's not the same and may still be a bit draining but it might be easier for you and still let your family know you'd be there if you could. Again, I don't know the particulars of your family relations, but this is something I've done when having to miss trips, events, etc. It's way easier than showing up only to crash and burn and have to leave early to go lay down and stare at a wall for a few hours/days in recovery You're chronically ill and sometimes flares happen without our knowledge or permission. Please don't beat yourself up over the fact that you have to cancel plans for health reasons - it's just like a healthy person canceling because they got the flu, both are equally reasonable. I hope you can rest and that you feel better soon!