Self-harm for attention?

I used to be obsessed with it. I loved to see how it all looked after I was finished, but I always felt disappointed that nobody could see. Honestly, I thought I was a maniac. But I realized after awhile that it was kinda normal for some people who harmed. Eventually I got better, and the urge to s/h constantly flooded my mind when I was first trying to be clean. It's all I fantasized about at first, but over time, as I used more coping mechanisms, the urge died down. I was using fake blood and bruise wheels to make designs, editing online art of s/h to make it look like I took a photo of it (sorta), and even would cut paper with a knife and feel over it (to mimic tracing fresh wounds.) Now I find joy in cleaning up simple scrapes I get by falling accidents. I take extra good care of them because I learned that I liked the cleanup process as much as the doing-it process. So I changed my focus of attention slowly but surely. You're not alone in this, and if you really think nobody understands, DM me and we can chat. Best of luck to your journey 💕