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HanStruggles

379d

Hello :) this is my first post so I'm not too sure what to say... but I'm really struggling with managing my intrusive thoughts of self hatred/loathing. I have recently taken a break from smoking weed which I usually use to manage those thoughts and it's been really difficult for me without it. Would love to talk to someone who is experiencing the same thing.

    • pfunkie

      379d

      I completely understand what your going through, and if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I think drugs can enhance good emotions and bad. Taking a break might be nessicary because sometimes the highs, both literally and figuratively, can begin to crash into deep lows when we aren't in a good headspace. And then you think smoking again will help but it never quite hits the spot and then you might sprial into this what's wrong with me headspace. I would start with changing the way you talk to yourself. I used to call myself a dumb*ss or stupid *unt for making very innocent mistakes until I realized like that's self abuse. I now go doofus or goofball and honestly that helps. Making less jokes about killing yourself helps because the funniest part of a joke is sometimes the truth behind it and if your saying things like that it could be adding fuel to the fire unknowingly. Also, practicing mindfulness. I honestly didn't get a good definition for it until I went for the second time to a mental hospital. It's honestly just bieng aware of your emotions. Not trying to fix them but taking note of them and how they affect you in the good and bad times. Body scanning is a good practice of mindfulness. You basically sit down and make yourself comfortable and slowly work your way down your body, noticing things like bieng calm or tension or pain, maybe relief in your neck, arms, legs, hands, ect This can help when you're in panic or depression to just make yourself aware of when thoughts are starting to arise that are illiciting emotion or behavior you don't want and recognizing how you feel when you're calm. As someone whos generally had to just survive through trauma and bury my emotions, this has helped me heal slowly but surely. Sorry that this was a lot, but I hope it helps if you need anything lmk! And welcome to the community! ❤️ (^-^)/ ❤️

      • HanStruggles

        379d

        @pfunkie thank you so much! 💕 I will definitely try the body scan thing. I can really relate to calling myself names and such. I have a really hard time when I do or say something that negatively affects someone else, and that forces me to spiral into thoughts of worthlessness but I guess I just need to keep reminding myself that most people will not hate me just because I made one mistake. It's difficult but I'm trying :)))

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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