Anon7

341d

How do I make friends? I do not feel exactly close to anyone, but this one girl. The problem there though, some things happened so there are a lot of unknowns and I am struggling drastically with my emotional and mental state. I try to meet new people, or talk to those I do know. It never goes well though... I get insulted or upset a lot, or misunderstand, or I end up not talking and wish they would reach out first but don't. I don't know if I am even much of a human being, I guess. I don't have many interests, and even less that seem like something I could join a group for and meet people.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Chronic Generalized pain

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  • BanderSnail

    341d

    It helps to find other neurodivergent people. I met my friends through LGBT support groups and one religion group I'm part of but all my friends that I've been able to stay friends with over time are all also autistic or otherwise neurodivergent.

  • BanderSnail

    341d

    Also met one friend through group therapy.

  • SAMHAIN

    341d

    I feel so much of this. "I don't know if I am even much of a human being, I guess." There's a reason autistic kids are "known" for asking their guardians if they "are aliens/from outer space" rather than simply boys asking if theyre girls, or vice-versa. The feeling of alienation from these other meatsacks we walk the Earth with is so, so common tobour experience. I've always felt like this. Even the "m" word I just used goes way back in my personal history. The thing is, you're not alone. As much as you may feel like it, and as much as it only really matters sometimes insofar as whether or not you have any tangible, local relationships... this experience of being a social pariah is not yours alone. Eventually, as you become comfortable in your skin, as you find little successes for yourself in life, you'll begin to see this thing in others, and it'll click. It won't be often, but you may learn to more heavily appreciate those couple important relationships you *do* have. The rest is being comfortable with yourself. Once you're okay being alone, whether it be with a book, your favorite activity, or even just with your eyes closed and your own breath filling the space around, the pain of separation from others will begin to ease. I think finding this is one of the most important things for aspies to live a happier life amongst all the NPCs.

  • Overcomer

    341d

    I agree. People who doesn't have autism can cause pain and they have no clue that we want to have friends but it's just hard.

  • Davidstrains96

    341d

    I wish I knew how to make friends my only friend I had works so much I never see him anymore

  • SAMHAIN

    341d

    David— have you told them how you feel? After 7 NDEs I don't hesitate to express to my loved ones or when I'm feeling too distant from them. The whole world could be different in a single day...

  • Overcomer

    340d

    David I experiencing the same thing

  • Haru_Done

    340d

    I definitely feel this. Trying to socialize and make friends has been annoying more than anything. The few friends I do have are often too busy for me

  • BlossomMelody

    339d

    I feel pretty much the exact same way. I used to be able to make friends somewhat easily in school where you're forced to socialize, but now that I'm not around new people every day, I have no idea how to make friends. Even in online communities, I find it hard to keep talking every day, and when people don't reach out to me first I assume they don't want to talk. I don't even know when you can really call someone a friend vs acquaintance, it seems like neurotypical people just..know. I don't feel human either. You're not alone.

  • feellicks

    339d

    I understand, sometimes it feels like a lot of conversation with people almost feels hollow. I just keep trying with new people and see if it clicks. you never know! nice to meet you

  • piney

    338d

    I completely understand and it makes my heart hurt. Ive always wondered if im fundamentally broken or worthless. I think...time/age helps. I was 20 when i met my now best friend on an art site online. Common interests are the best grounds to find people like you. So...keep doing what you love. If its hard to communicate, try finding an online place to meet up about interests. I ageee with another commenter: the best friends are neurodivergent and share interests. Oh, also college might be a different ballgame (if youre not there yet). Its a bunch of people who are putting a lot of money, time, and effort into things they care about. Its way different than high school. You basically choose what spheres you wanna exist in and the drama isnt there (in my experience). Dont give up!

  • piney

    338d

    Ps: if you don't have any strong interests, keep exploring! You probably just havent found them yet. Try lots of things if you can. Or try sites for neurodivergent and autistic folks specifically; things you already know about yourself. 👍🤗

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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