Struggling with Codependency and Fear of Being Alone

Sensitive/Trigger Content: I have a problem with being alone. but I have not really been alone since I was about 13 years old. that is after I was SA by my biological father. I remember that I was always talking to someone, or around someone. I did not want to be alone. I have a fear of being alone, that I might actually become better without people that I am so used to and that I love so much even when I know for a fact that they don't love me back the way that i love them. I know this is bad codependency behavior and I know that I am crippling myself. but when I am around certain people (technically just a certain person) I feel like I'm beyond the clouds floating in the galaxy when I'm with them. but when I'm alone, I don't know what to do with myself, and that's where I'm falling short.... I don't know me without another human anymore. I need to heal myself but I'm terrified and ashamed knowing that I can become a more powerful woman within myself if I take time to leave people on read, ignore calls and texts and really focus on myself.... I'm battling myself instead of nurturing myself when I know I deserve better