Struggling to Find Help While Working as a Therapist After SA Recovery

Oh honey, I've been there 4 times with SA. 😥 My best friend left me and her family through SA a few years ago. It is so hard still today. We were always on a video call making each other laugh or we were at each other's home. Always together...to nothing. I know life feels unbearable at times but if you just make it through the urge to attempt and not attempt I assure you that feeling will pass eventually so you should call the hotline full of professionals ready to handle your situation. They are the ones you should call first. Family and friends don't know what to do or say and usually they say the wrong things, so just skip over calling them and go straight to the professionals. Putting the responsibility of failing you is too much for anyone to bare. You need to know that whatever you are going through, SA is not the answer to any problem you could ever face in life. I'm thankful I survived. I can change my situation I'm in, just as you can. Anyone can change their situation they are in. no one is stuck in a situation. I promise you can change every aspect of your life if you want to. So instead of ending it all, figure out what would make you enjoy life again and get after it. I personally wouldn't shop for things that don't expire. Being a hoarder is more depressing, so have a garage sale and sell everything that doesn't bring you joy and is not functional get rid of it. And hey, food shopping is fine just keep it minimal unless you plan to feed others too. You see something you want to have but you already have a week's worth of food add that food to a list for next week's food haul. Meal plan it. You don't have to eat everything you buy either, you can pack a picnic and go have one in the park if you see a homeless person invite them to your picnic 🧺 you might change their life. I personally would uproot my career and move where family and friends are. Your workload is too much for you on your own... clearly. And you can do this, people do it all the time because family emergencies and such. You don't need a family emergency to move back. But, if the family you have is responsible for your experience in the bathtub then, either find it in your heart to forgive, you don't necessarily need to forgive them to their face as the forgiveness is for your benefit not theirs. Are you really setting a good example for your patients? I'm not saying you aren't good at fixing others issues, but to me it sounds like you need to focus on yourself even if it puts that caseload on your coworkers. Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. What would you tell your patient faced with what you are faced with? Be kind to yourself. You are worth it!