suppah

196d

I'm going through a break up i was a horrible alcoholic for 10 years I couldn't keep a job i was abusive and I hated myself and projected that unto everyone I love. I wanted to be better but I harbored so much resentment for my childhood, resentment for my mistakes growing up , resentment for being a unmotivated drunk piece of shit. and I didn't try.

I want to survive these feelings but I don't know if I will. I'm thinking of surrendering to my demons every hour of every day.

Depression

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  • Gab21

    196d

    Have you tried talking to your doctor or therapist? Or maybe there's a mental help group or AA that can help, sometimes talking or hearing other people talk about similar problems is a big help.

    • suppah

      196d

      yeah I've done all of that I'm doing it pretty much every day.

  • Rebel4vr

    194d

    I’m sorry going through this I’m currently in an eight year long relationship and I know what it’s like I’m an alcoholic I have anger problems I have depression so like I haven’t been on the end but I’ve been lonely and single for a long time before that I mean I’m 32 years old and my relationship is only eight years long and every other relationship before then has failed so don’t give up I feel for you and if you need a friend well I’m here I know there are many other side or listen and be there for you as well

  • Amythist

    194d

    I feel exactly like this all because of childhood abuse I’m here if u want to talk

    • suppah

      188d

      i miss her so damn much

  • TammyA

    188d

    You got this I've been though the same thing

  • Elwood

    188d

    Make sure you’re expressing this in therapy and being completely honest, biggest thing to get past is guilt. You should follow the AA steps and make amends but remember that you aren’t entitled to anyones forgiveness. You’ve got this, it sounds like you’re taking big steps in recovery already

  • Snowy

    188d

    I'm not sure if this helps or not, but the times in my life when I've messed up badly and hurt people I love, I've seen that there is a choice to be made. You either walk away and hide from the hurt you've caused, or you stand up and face it. The first is cowardly and weak, the second is brave and strong. Not that you feel brave or strong while you're standing there, feeling the pain and guilt and shame! But accepting that you did wrong, feeling the fullness of those emotions, while painful and often overwhelming, can help you get through them faster and better than running from them. The next critical step is to forgive yourself. Radically. Unconditionally. You did bad things, and now they are done. Give yourself permission to live a life where you can and will do good things. Your past doesn't have to define you. Start doing kind things and show yourself and others that you are capable of kindness and light and love. Most importantly, be kind to yourself. You are the only person who is with you 24/7 and therefore the most available recipient of your own love, compassion, and respect. I don't even know you and I can tell you that I am filled with love and compassion for you. I pray that you will find how to feel that love and compassion for yourself ❤️

    • suppah

      188d

      thank you so much 😭😭😭😭😭

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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