I hate BPD so much I hate my brain having it and I hate having random spirals like this. For context; I've been having a really difficult time at work training for the upcoming campus semester. So usually me and my boyfriend hang out after I'm done with work... but today, he immediately just ignored me- even though I was busier today than normal and didn't text him much all day. So now I'm splitting on myself and wanting the Spicy Sleep because I know logically it's Not his fault he just wants to hang with his friends and stuff. But his tone is different than normal and it hurts and hurts and hurts and I just wanna talk to him like we usually do,,,
Anxiety (Including GAD)
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
💕 I hear that it’s tough to sit with these emotions. I have had similar experiences too, sometimes it was the other way around too. What I did was reached out and expressed how I felt and reminded them how much they mean to me briefly and I felt better about myself. I also tried to remind myself they’ll come home or I’ll see them soon to help soothe. Is that something you think could help in trying?
My husband call this "going down your rabbit hole, alice" referencing alice in wonderland. I know, I have such an amazing support system, right? 😑 but if you put the obvious emotional terrorism aside and break it down it makes sense on a level. Alice was dealing with something she didnt want to and found herself in a fantasy world in order to deal with the stress going on in life. In a way she dissociated.
We find a problem (that may have nothing to do with us to begin with) or a percieved problem and run with the 1000 different possibilities of how WE could have been the cause of the problem they are having and drive ourselves nuts over it.
Half the time my husband is like its nothing to do with you but it always feels like im responsible in some way
Could you maybe frame it in a way where you’re offering him support? I know it can be hard to do that when you’re the one looking for that support, but if you know you’re not the one at fault (which it sounds like you do logically), then that means something is probably going on to make him feel differently than he normally does and therefore act differently. Do you think you could offer him support by asking if something is wrong or helping out with one of his responsibilities or something like that? If you can’t that’s totally understandable, but just a suggestion to consider.
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