Surviving a Panic Attack at a Graduate School Fair

Ah. A sensory overload induced panic attack. At a Graduate School Fair. I could feel it coming. My pressure dropping ever so slowly. My peripheries getting smaller and smaller. I can’t understand anything the lady was saying. Whatever I could see was washed over with a piss yellow color. My hands are ever so itchy. Stop scratching. Stop!! I looked down at my phone. I need to get out of here. She’s still taking. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back” “‘oh! Sure!’” I squeeze myself through the crowd of people. I was about to throw up. There’s people everywhere. Find a corner. Find a corner. Sit. SIT NOW PLEASE Masking for so long, I can’t cry. I can’t make it to the bathroom. Here is fine. People are always sitting against the wall. Here is fine. Pop in my beats. Muffle the world. Eat a chocolate. So sweet. Feel the breeze. It’s cool. Put on some lotion. Smells fresh. I exist again. I went to apologize for running off and finish our conversation. Mask on. Remember to breathe. Finish this row and we can sit for a bit more. I know I’m not going to get to every school. I’ll be more selective now. There’s less than an hour after all. I’m going to finish what I started. But I’ll be gentle with myself. We do hard things. I still exist.