Dealing with BPD in Relationships

I’m not in a situation like this now but I hate when I tell people I have bpd and it’s caused problems in previous relationships and that they don’t have to stay if I cause issues; they say stuff like “I’ll never leave you I promise” or “your bpd won’t change anything”; and then like when I display traits they act like I am evil and then leave. Not saying that any negative thing I said or did is not my fault because I am not the victim. But I just wish people would listen a little more and try to understand me instead of feeding little validations into my ears. This might be controversial but idk