Intense Desire After Sexual Assault: Seeking Advice

Sometimes a symptom of trauma is hypersexuality, it could be a part of that. I've dealt with this symptom since a young age, hypersexuality can also make you more impulsive and more likely to put yourself in dangerous sexual situations, if you aren't careful. It might be a good idea to process this with a therapist.

Hi, fellow hypersexual here ✋ Developing hypersexuality after a trauma like that is common, it could've been there before the assault and it's just now more present and entertwined with trauma. That desperate fire inside you to want and desire to be desired by your partner is normal as well. You may feel even more compelled to put out or be sexy and desirable for him as a result. That if you dont he will lose interest or be less happy with you somehow. It can also be "this way its my choice so imma be hypersexual before he can come onto me or take that choice from me". Rest assured there is many of us out here and we understand feeling like your out of control, like the beast so to say is raging constantly. What's best as to reigning in this beast varies but the most effective is communication with your partner. Be honest how it feels in your shoes, how it feels to live with this part of you. Tell him any fears that stem from it, any insecurities, anything that makes this hard for you. Let him into your world awhile to show him this is something you have to live with. You can take on hobbies, pleasure yourself more often, have him be the one to let you know when it's okay to engage in that form of intimacy. You can sit down together and even make a word to check in on each other in this department if saying it all is hard for one or both of you. It can be silly or a word you don't use otherwise, all it means is "how are you feeling? Are you in the mood or have potential to get in the mood?". You can also treat hypersexuality with other forms of intimacy between you two. Can be showering together, holding hands, cuddling, kissing/making out. Make it clear that it doesn't have to always end in full on sex. Sometimes it can be hard to tell when to ask as you feel like too much but that's okay. Sit down and agree to what's good activities of intimacy when he isn't in the mood to go all the way that still feeds that side of you. I feed off any form of intimacy myself. Make a list or have him tell you what's on the table at that moment and let him make that call. Be receptive to his answers but also let him know you may need a bit of intimacy throughout the day even if its not full blown sex etc. This will also improve your mental health to be able to talk about it and be fulfilled at the same time.

I have a few friends that have went through a similar situation as you and they have went to a sex therapist & they have all said it’s helped them a lot