Coping with the Loss of a Sibling: How to Navigate Trauma Together

My brother (was 26) took his life when I was 12. It ruined the tragectory my life was on. I was an only child after this for qui upte a while till my little brother was born (not my dads kid). My dad told me all the time how much he loves my little brother, he was never there for me. I didn't haven't any siblings but it broke my dad to the point he didn't want to be alive anymore. You aren't alone; as low as you'll feel, as alone and helpless as it can get, you aren't alone.

My eldest brother was the most sheltered and seems to have repressed it all, he won't talk about it but it's clearly effecting him to the point that he won't work and is fully dependent on my mother and shuts everyone else out. My middle brother lashed out with severely destructive break down episodes and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he's spent years on and off in therapy and seems to be the most well adjusted out of the three of us. I have severe CPTSD that I'm in recovery from. I don't talk to either of them much, they're both significantly older than me with separate interests. I still have a positive relationship with my middle brother but he also lives across the country from me and has a job, school, and a steady girlfriend so things are busy for him. I live in the same state as my eldest brother and our mother but his unchecked agression and intensely introverted behavior makes it impossible to be in the same room as him, he refuses to go to any kind of therapy and has decided to begin cutting out close relatives over petty differences and genuine concerns. He even actively avoids and acts disgusted by interactions with his aunt and grandmother outside of vacations to see them. Our middle brother, mother, their father, and I have all had conversations about how concerned we are for his health and his future plans after we lose the house but because he wont talk to us or take us seriously there's nothing we can do. Everyone else seems to be more and more tired of him as he gets older, he refused to try to have any relationship with me until I was "old enough" which wasn't until after the trauma when he began being agressive and fighting our other brother so I never had much of a relationship with him outside of begrudging roommates. Everyone else, especially our mother, remember when he wasn't like this and excused his terrible behaviour up until very recently.

So sorry to hear that. I am sending you care and well wishes. My sisters and I have all dealt with trauma differently. My older sister is a workaholic and was an alcoholic for a long time and now does a lot of fitness. She's never been to therapy and can be really terrible so we dont have a relationship. My younger sister is very detached emotionally from the rest of us and very career oriented, and my youngest sister has authority issues and no motivation. Im the only one who has cPTSD diagnosed, but Im fairly sure at least my older sister has it if we all don't. For myself, Ive been in therapy since 2015 and have been going consistently for the past 5 years. The only other sibling that has gone to therapy (the 2nd youngest) went because I talked her through the process