Feeling Consumed by Negative Thoughts

i relate- feeling like you are inside your thoughts is a hallmark of adhd brains. I heard my therapists keep saying our thoughts are like passing clouds above us, when i have always felt like i am inside the hurricane, the clouds are everywhere. I'm so sorry you are having this anxiety, and existential dread. It sounds really hard, tiring and painful. You are allowed to feel 'bad' feelings, and it's healthy to let your body feel those sensations until they dissipate (i.e. feeling your feelings- literally) The feeling of hopelessness is so consuming. i hear you, and you have a community here. You do deserve to have hope of brighter days, and you are allowed to have hope. Hope is the one thing our opressors can never take from us. You are not insane, and i'm sorry people have made you feel that way about yourself. neurotypicals tend to cast aside what they don't understand. You deserve better. You are different, you brain is different, you have different DNA. There is nothing wrong with you, you just think differently and you have more support needs than others. It's not your fault, and you have done nothing wrong! Isolation could be your way of recharging yourself, and when you are recharged, you may be afraid to put yourself in sensory danger again by venturing out. My advice is; advocate for yourself in every moment. Listen to that voice inside you, of your inner child screaming for help. Don't let doctors gaslight you. Demand the help you need. Keep pushing for your support network. Imagine your adult self as the warrior your child self needed when they were young and confused and scared. Be the voice that says "i will be gentle with you". Treat your body like you are caring for a pet. medicines to help you do things. food, gentle exercise that you actually like (i am privy to some just dance, and some swimming and yoga). More comfort food! Remove all of the rules that society imposed on you. Eg. balanced meals. My friend, if there is food that you feel okay eating, eat it! Fed is better than hungry. check out the 'how to adhd' youtube channel! learn about yourself, be super super gentle and kind to yourself, and feel those uncomfy feels. You got this!