Feeling Lost and Alone in a Crowd of People

this is why I don't talk to people. this is probably why I have social anxiety now. I been blocked by 3-4 people. for no reason. was told to act like a man and forget shit since I'm transgender by one of my friends. the friend that GHOSTED me so "I can get better, so I could fix myself" saying he's tired of helping me. but I never asked. I never asked for help. my ex blocked me. I tried to fucking fix everything. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm getting very fuckin tired of living. im getting tired of making friends then losing them, they never cared for me, then never cared, no one cares about me, I'm going crazy, I'm losing myself, I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.