So I was diagnosed with ptsd from military after my second deployment. The images never go away and I have horrible dreams at night I feel paralyzed by myself. I see blood on my hands that never washes off when with family or friends at a bbq I smell burning flesh everyone who has been close to me leaves me because I don’t have control over violent sleep patterns am I alone or does anyone else feel this way as well like we are all just waiting for sweet death at this point?
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
I don't share your exact experience, though I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I can tell you, however, that with time and a combination of many therapies, some triggers can go away or get less intense over time, and some triggers you may learn to avoid. I have a neighbor who is a Vietnam veteran and he to this day cannot be around meat because it triggers him... so he doesn't go to BBQ's unless the fare is vegetarian (which those close to him are willing to accommodate because we care about him)... So some of it may come down to asking for accommodation in certain situations... Also, I know a couple of veterans who take trazadone to help with the night terrors and it has been a godsend (one of these veterans is my uncle), so maybe discuss this and/or other medications with your doctor? We can brainstorm and share ideas sometime if you want, so feel free to message me if you think it might help.
i wouldn’t say i’m waiting for death or whatever, but it’s still hard sometimes. it never gets better per se, but it gets easier with practice. my experiences weren’t like yours (i was just a foster kid that got the shit kicked out of me every day for 15 years lol), but i suffer from panic attacks/nightmares myself. i’m here if you ever need to talk, though. i’m sorry you’re going through that. it might seem like you’re the only one struggling but i promise you’re not alone, my g
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