I'm at the point where I met someone who I really like..and I'm scared that I'm going to self sabotage again. Its a constant cycle with my bpd. I meet someone, we talk, I start to really like them, then the moment they start to reciprocate I pull away because I get scared. I'm scared of them seeing how bad I can get, I'm scared of them seeing what I've done to myself, And that doesn't even brush the surface of it all. There's also the trauma that I cant get away from. I'm scared of them seeing the real me. The me that isn't the fun happy giggly person they usually hang out with. The me that sometimes cant even find the strength to get out of bed some days. I know I deserve love...but they deserve to love someone who isn't like me.