My Struggle with Self-Harm: A Story of Relapse and Recovery

tw//SH so I have a history of self-harm which is hard for me I'm going to explain my story with it so please don't feel the need to read it The first time I did it was with a blade I was in such a low and dark place I was 12 at the time. This specific time carried on till I was 13 almost 14 on and off but when I first started I didn't even understand what a relapse was or what it meant to be clean. My best friend at the time was really hurt that I did this to myself and every time I did it I would tell him. shortly after I turned 14 me and him got together and he made it a point that I wasn't allowed to do it anymore. I went 6 months clean but then I relapsed and I still remember every time I did it and what I was feeling that caused it. I was clean for another 5 months until I had a really difficult issue with family and abuse (mental & physical) but I didn't cut I scratched my arm super bad. Then I was clean for 8 months then I scratched up my other arm so now I have two scars on my arms. I had been doing well I was 2 months clean the 3 days ago I relapsed again but this one was an OD. This is my story I still struggle and feel lost all the time I understand those who do it those who just feel this way. I wish I could just give you all a hug and tell you it will be ok and be there for you.