Ziggy_B

30d

I was feeling good in my costume and very confident until my dad was taking photos of me and my family all in costumes and looking at the photos I can definitely see my 24 pound weight gain and it's killing me. I hate it. I know I'm going into my 20s so I shouldn't worry about gaining weight and not having my 16 year old body anymore but damn. It's hard when I hate the way I look so much. I keep getting compliments and it's not helping. My mom especially. She's skinny so it's like extra hard. Even if usually back then I'd find it a good compliment I don't find it flattering anymore. it just reminds me how much weight I've gained and I want to cry. My thighs and hips grew so I can't even fit into my old jeans. my aunt keeps telling me my butt got bigger and it's taking everything in me to not yell at her to telk her to stop. I have always hated my arms but now it's unbearable and so has my chin/jawline. it's been one of my biggest insecurities and now it's magnified times 10. I'm scared to hang out with my old friends bc I don't want them to see me like this and point out that I've gained weight. I'm trying to cut back on snacking and trying to eat healthier but damn, I could barely keep up with myself before the weight gain and I feel like it's more on my plate that I have to do. I do have motivation to lose weight and have been exercising but not as much as I'd lie to. I've been way more active in my daily life and have been averaging at 8,000 steps a day instead of barely 2,000 my goal used to be 3,500 steps and I would barely make it most days. I'm trying so hard and I'm seeing no progress but I'm sure if I keep going I'll see it. I know it's not going to go away by just doing what I'm doing but I want what I'm diung to become easier and move up from there. I don't want to lose an unhealthy amount of weight at a time or lose it fast to gain it all back. I want it to be sustainable and effective so I'm going slow and building it up. idk if it'll work but I'm hoping it will and if it doesn't then well I guess I'll have to suck it up and live my life.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Body dysmorphic disorder

Eating Disorder

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  • poetryandclarinet

    30d

    There’s a lot to download here, and it hurts to read about so many people in your life commenting on something that’s so minor to their lives. It’s not their body, it’s yours. And they’re hurting you with shallow comments. If your old friends were genuinely good people to you, they won’t point out your weight. It’s understandable to think they might given it’s an insecurity of yours, but if they’re decent people they won’t.

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