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Hi, I have BPD. I presently live in an emotionally abusive household and I’m trying to find skills that’ll help me keep positive and help to keep me from falling back into the darkness of self-hatred and agreeing with everything hateful I’m told. Does anyone have any similar experience and have any advice/skills/tips/etc to help right now? I feel like I’m drowning in self-hate and negativity and I feel like unaliving myself nonstop because I am constantly told I am a huge burden and I believe it. I really don’t want to relapse in self-harm either but I feel so intensely about everything. I feel isolated and entirely alone. I feel victimized and helpless. I do have a therapist and am seeing a psychiatrist but I can’t get medications that actually do help. I’m just getting to know this therapist because my previous one quit unannounced so I’m kind of stuck with myself right now. Sorry if this is a lot, I don’t have anywhere to go (don’t have any friends either!) and I figured I would try a place with people who may suffer similarly. Thanks if you read this.
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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
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I as well live in a negative environment. I also find it hard to cope with it a lot too. I honestly just let it in one ear and out the other and remind myself that what they say about me is just an opinion they have about me and that no matter how I change or cover up my personal issues they will always feel the same about me because it’s an opinion. Living in a toxic household with bpd is definitely harsh. I also draw a lot and write poetry and journal about the things that bother me about my family so I can get it out and not bottle it in. If you ever need anyone to talk to I would gladly listen to you.
I went through a very similar situation when my dad passed away, my family became emotionally abusive and took it out on me, but people and teachers in my school started to emotionally abuse me too. I was diagnosed with BPD way back, and for years I struggled to find medications that worked. I understand what it feels like to feel alone, I struggle with that too. When I feel alone I try to distract myself, and forget about the negative thoughts. I usually play games or draw. What I find works yet can be very difficult is thinking positive. You may think what those people are saying is true, but it is not. You should try to not listen to them. You aren’t a burden. After years of therapy and being on medication, I could care less about what people think of me. There are some things we can’t control. If you need someone to talk to, I am here 🙂
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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