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dragonSage

583d

trigger warning self harm. I tried committing in February of 2020 and I took alot of sleeping pills hoping ya know. but I ended up waking up the next day with stomach pain instead. but since the attempt I never feel real. like it this brain fog that lingers and I don't feel like living is real. does that sound crazy? šŸ¤” before I wasn't scared to die or of dying but now I fear it. it keeps me up at night. I hate talking about death because it give me panic attacks. I go from wanting to die to know being afraid of dying. of existing alone forever in limbo. do any of you feel that way?

Top reply
    • FrancesForever

      583d

      Yes. Death is frightening and possibly very painful and permanent. That's scary. I think about committing because it would be easier than living, not because I want to die. Once I attempted and failed and I think it felt unreal because I intended to die. Disconnecting permanently was what I intended, so I felt some residual dissociation.

    • FrancesForever

      583d

      Guided grounding exercises. Sometimes I dissociate, but I make a conscious effort to focus on my body from the inside instead of the outside. Basically a body scan. It takes practice. I also found a sense of gratitude helped me, after my second attempt. When I almost died. Being able to smell something pleasant, physically feel something pleasant, see something or someone pleasant ect. I can't do any of those things when I'm dead. There are lots of grounding techniques. My counselors never gave me a comprehensive list, just the basics, so I googled it.

    • FrancesForever

      583d

      Yes. Death is frightening and possibly very painful and permanent. That's scary. I think about committing because it would be easier than living, not because I want to die. Once I attempted and failed and I think it felt unreal because I intended to die. Disconnecting permanently was what I intended, so I felt some residual dissociation.

      • dragonSage

        583d

        @FrancesForever how did cope with the residual dissociation?

ā˜ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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