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Kadair

448d

Recently had my appointment with my Dr., who gave me an anxiety med. for only when I need it to help prevent my rare episodes of disassociattion. Thing is sometimes they just happen with no warning. I am currently going to school, am a wife, mother, sister and so on. Anyway, I recently had to kick out my brother for drugs and drinking. He has been staying at a shelter and the requirements are no alcohol or drugs. Well the other day I let him come over because he said "I need to fill out some applications on Indeed". Well he also asked my husband if he could take him to these apartments to give them the information they need to get in. Afterwards, he came back almost 2 hours later and brought beer in my house. I am so angry! He confessed he has done it three times since he moved out. I know it is a lie but anyway, he tried to play on my husband's heart strings, saying he thinks he might be kicked out. The place he is at also requires 10 hours of community service somewhere. Well he hasn't done it for the month. Yes, he has been there for a full month! My husband told him well if you get kicked out you can stay in the garage. I told my husband No! Anyway, I feel bad but he can't, he brings the household down and I also need to protect my family. I told my brother he can't stay in the garage, and he needed to learn from his decisions. I feel so overwhelmed right now with his antics!

Top reply
    • Kadair

      446d

      Thank you all!

    • Kadair

      446d

      Thank you all!

    • princess_duck

      448d

      Setting boundaries is healthy. Addicts are very selfish because the disease is selfish. Hold your ground. You and your family come first.🤗

    • Sally213

      448d

      Oh, BTW, I had to write my boundaries and tape them to the wall to help me set mine: my body, time, etc.

      • Kadair

        448d

        @Sally213 I like that! I am going to try that!

        • Sally213

          448d

          @Kadair awesome! It really helped me.

    • Sally213

      448d

      I absolutely agree with angelique1974. My little brother was a meth addict and used me for $2000 and our o for $4000. Had to cut him off so he'd find his rock bottom so he could start living a worthwhile life again. It's called tough love. As a side note, it is not too great that your husband is undermining your efforts to help your brother by setting boundaries. Perhaps, he needs a talkin' to about being on the same page, about being a unified force for good. I too have anxiety. I cannot have medicine for it due to other meds I take. What I do is say, "It's okay ...." Example: It's okay if I can't leave my house to have coffee with a friend. I can invite them to my house for coffee (if I'm up to it.) And it saves money! :) Anyway, good luck in your situation and try to get good sleep.

    • Angeliquet07734

      448d

      Sorry your dealing with all that. You're absolutely right in not allowing your brother to come back to your home. He's just using your home as a flop house to get high and will continue to do so if you allow him to. That's what addicts do. They tell you what you wanna hear in order to get what they want. Sob stories the whole nine yards, anything to get that next fix. The only way he's gonna get any better is if he hits rock bottom and gets the proper help he needs in a rehab facility. He may even be angry with you for awhile but he'll get over it in time. I wish you good luck 🙌

      • Kadair

        448d

        @Angeliquet07734 I know, it is just hard! I am trying to keep boundaries in place but he tries to manipulate my husband to get what he wants. He only tries to do that when I am not around. He knows that it won't work with me. I am going to be working on setting boundaries more with my counselor so I know that will help. Since all this is happening my episodes of dissociation are occurring more often because of this. I am so angry and just heart broken. I have the support of my family thank goodness! I told my husband why we can not let him back in. We spent 4 years trying to help him and this is where we are at. I am tired and exhausted from it all. I am trying to improve myself with school and he made this much harder. 😔💔

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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