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465d

The inclusion department at my work recently called neurodivergence and cognitive disorders "secondary identities" and I can't stop thinking about it. Despite how much I try to fit in, the fact that I'm autistic has always been more important to others than anything else about me, so calling it a "secondary identity" feels so dismissive to how completely it affects the way others think of me and how they are willing to interact with me.

Top reply
    • minime273

      461d

      Secondary? No no no. This shit is p r i m a r y. I didn't ask for it to be such a big aspect of my life, but when NT people made it a big deal, I sort of had to. It explains the things I thought were "broken" about me. Secondary identities. No. My secondary identities include aspiring speedcuber, self-advocate, and occasional cook. Autistic with a capital A is as fundamental to my identity as my ADHD and my Queerness.

    • minime273

      461d

      Secondary? No no no. This shit is p r i m a r y. I didn't ask for it to be such a big aspect of my life, but when NT people made it a big deal, I sort of had to. It explains the things I thought were "broken" about me. Secondary identities. No. My secondary identities include aspiring speedcuber, self-advocate, and occasional cook. Autistic with a capital A is as fundamental to my identity as my ADHD and my Queerness.

    • Finleaf

      464d

      That's so bizarre! Who gets to decide what identities are "primary" and which are "secondary"??? /rh Surely only the individual can decide how important an identity is to themselves. That's honestly super patronising.

      • Cloudlight

        464d

        @Finleaf From what I can tell, they were trying to distinguish between parts of identity that affect all aspects of someone's life and things that are more personal like belief systems, sexual orientation, and values. In this case the rep was able-bodied and black so I'm guessing their experiences with discrimination are mostly centered around race. I can understand why they might not realize how badly NDs are discriminated against, and consequently misunderstand it to be much less of a daily struggle than it is, but I will be having more discussions to make sure the department im doesn't remain ignorant to these issues

    • Gilidea

      464d

      🤯 Secondary identity?! Secondary...?! I am shocked and appaled. Did he say it in front of other people, too? Like. I'm sorry, it's like saying to someone with no legs "you treat your wheelchair like it's a part of your body". Hello! Yes, it helps me get around, to me it is a part of my body. Similarly being autistic is not some sort of identity I took on as a way to express myself. It is literally who I am. I didn't CHOOSE it for myself. I didn't decide to call it myself. It is part of me, because I was born this way. It's like saying being different race is an alternative identity. It is just me! It cannot be changed! I have no power to not be who I was born to be! Like race, like ethnicity, like gender or secuality!!! What he said is literally discrimination! And you should complain!!! I'm so mad for him daring to say this to you. Fuming here... 😤😤😤

      • Cloudlight

        464d

        @Gilidea I'm definitely going to bring it up, but it was said during a one-on-one conversation and at the time I didn't really process it enough to voice concern. I think, like you said, the department rep didn't understand that neurodivergence isn't like a set of beliefs or values that one chooses for themselves, and grouped it in with those kinds of traits thinking they were similiar. I'm very upset and I plan to talk to the rep about it, but I want to be very careful with my wording so I've been drafting an email to better explain the issues. That way I'm not just venting unproductively and the department can learn from this.

    • MissPineapple

      465d

      Have you discussed it with them how this made you feel? I am wondering who they consulted on coming up with this term 🤔🤔

      • Cloudlight

        465d

        @MissPineapple I plan on it, but I want to gather my thoughts and write out an email so I'm not just getting mad without any productive conversation. Considering the fact that they done some form of collaborative marketing with Autism Speaks 2 years before I joined, they clearly are ill-informed when it comes to neurodivergence, so I want to be as informative as possible in why this attitude is dangerous rather than just expressing the fact that I'm upset

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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