Feeling Isolated and Tired of Losing Friends

I really relate to this I do the same thing and end up ghosting the people I care about idk why maybe fear

Real friendships don't end when you stop speaking. If this person expects you to be in contact constantly, that's unrealistic. I've had to spell this out for a few people (including my sister who thought I was mad at her because we hadn't talked in a few months) but if they really value you as a friend, then they won't be offended just because they don't hear from you in a long time. The ONE exception is if they try to contact you and you ignore them. Usually when I think of "ghosting" it's if I sent you a message and you never replied. That can feel really bad so it's a good thing to try and apologize to them if something like that happened. But at the end of the day, you want friends who understand you and aren't put off when you need some social alone-time. It might sound unusual, but I recommend looking for an online chat group. I found a group of people to talk to who are similar to me and ive actually made some really good friends. Its not specifically an anxiety group, but they are comfortable with talking about mental health things. There's no pressure to talk to people every day because it's a whole group. Sometimes I can just read what people have written and send an emoji, other times I can just stay out of the chat altogether if I need some space, and no one is bothered by that because LOTS of people do that. I guess what I'm saying is that friends don't have to be people you meet at school or at work. Socializing IS important for humans, but it can look like a lot of different things. The way you socialize should make you feel happy and comfortable, and there's nothing wrong with seeking out friends who accept your social needs!