Every day! Even with my closer friends, I just feel like throwing in the towel

I never get the friend. I always find the people who take and not give.

I would love to have close friends. But, lost all my friends in the divorce and it is very lonely

Constantly. I feel so lonely and isolated and I reach out and I feel like I'm not getting a good connection or that they don't really care. I am awkward and I have social anxiety and with my chronic pain and illnesses I feel like I don't have anything positive to say. I constantly feel like I am bringing down the people around me. "Friends" expect you to be there for them and to go do fun stuff and whatever and I don't feel capable of doing anything most of the time. It is very frustrating and it makes me feel angry and sad and then my symptoms get worse and I don't want to be around anyone at all and then I get more lonely and wish that someone would reach out to me, but when they do I don't feel like they are genuine or they are just doing it to make themselves feel less guilty about not talking to me regularly. Then I don't want to talk to them, then I feel like I am not being a good friend and it's all on me... I don't know what to do