Struggling with Loss and Neglect

Each day is a never ending nightmare everyone Iove leaves no matter what I do or say the outcome still remains the same I cant eat anymore I cant sleep I cant enjoy what I once loved I cant stop drinking I cant stop rembering her I cant stop rembering the terrible shit that is always lingering within the broken fracutured reminits that was once a so called mine My heart is in pain with no pulse My mind is racing through all hours of the day my body is weak and numb My dog is the only thing I have to live for and my mother is trying to take her away from me she is going to kick me out of the house when I am 18 because she says I look Like my father and sound like him she yells and screams and cusses at Me she says she fucking hates me and that she wishes that she had never fucked My father so in other words she wishes I was never born I told My mother when I was 16 that I was sexualy assulted by my uncle when I was seven but she didnt believe Me ever sense what My uncle did to Me My hands have never felt clean I wash and wash them to the point were they crack open and bleed but no matter how many times I wash them nothings works no body cares about me and my problems I asked My brother if he could wash his hands after eating his greasy food before touching all the doornobs and light switchs so I wouldnt get so much anxiety and wouldnt have to clean it off and I asked him to not to eat in are bedroom but he doest care he does it anyway I have tried to spend timw with My brother I have tried to play video games with him and watch movies with him but he never wants to do anything with me unless hw needs something from me I am the only one that cleans the bedroom or the bathroom my btother just makes messes and doesnt help My moms boyfriend always takes my mothers side when her and I are fighting he slamed me to the grown on the kitchen floor just because he didnt agree with what I said in the conversation My little sister is starting to act like My brother and I just cant take this shit anymore everywhere I turn things just turn to shit My dad my grandfather and grandmother all died this year My girlfriend left me for another guy my friends have moved away I just want to fucking die