Struggling with Depression: Am I Lazy or Depressed?

"is this what you call being depressed or am i just a extremely lazy person?" , "am i overreacting?", "do other people feel the same way?" are all questions i've asked myself for a long time, unfortunately i do not have the money or time to book an appointment and be diagnosed and i hate to self diagnose myself here but i really never understood the reason why i've been like this, i can't even get up from my bed, brush my teeth, take a shower, i overeat out of stress, i don't sleep enough sometimes but sometimes i sleep wayy too much, i need help, because every time i have days off i can't handle myself, i go insane, i hate myself because of it, i'm just so tired to do anything at this point, i isolate myself from others and i stopped doing the stuff i used to love to do, like going out with my friends, my teeth are yellow, my hair is greasy and very tangled, and here i am rotting on my bed with all the sweat this summer produces, i feel empty and i wanna change this, i've been trying to so hard, but everytime i get up and try to pull myself together after a "depressive episode" or "whatever the heck is going on with me" i fall even harder into this deep, dark hole, and im tired of it, unfortunately I got no insurance yet, i'm an immigrant and it's hard to get help in conditions like this, i'm sure some antidepressants would work, i need to feel better about myself after all before i do something to myself, i need to get up from this bed already and i need so much motivation, but again all of that motivation and hopeless dreams become nothing when i fall again into these episodes, but what do you all think?