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Struggling with Eating Disorder Recovery

Sarah24

670d

I feel so alone in my eating disorder. I used to be underweight and then one program kept me to the point of massive overshoot. I am struggling more than I ever have in my life but all I can read on anorexia recovery is weight restoration and being underweight and everything - I cannot cope with getting any bigger. I can’t. But I cannot find anything on recovery while “overweight” or how to deal with extreme hunger and messed up metabolism while in the body I have. I can’t do a single thing about my body and I can’t cope with recovery if it means a bigger body. And I am stuck here and no one understands me and no one gets it or knows how to help and I am so alone because no one gets it. And I can’t cope

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8

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Anorexia Nervosa

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    • Sarah24

      613d

      @bouncyroo11 thank you for the suggestion, unfortunately, for me calorie counting can become obsessive for me very quickly. I tell myself that it’s to make sure I get enough and then I’ll see the number as a maximum, not a minimum. Thank you though, I’m glad it was able to help you!!💞

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    • bouncyroo11

      613d

      I had a big problem with binging after I started to recover I found calorie counting and making sure I eat enough calories is helpful.

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      • Sarah24

        613d

        @bouncyroo11 thank you for the suggestion, unfortunately, for me calorie counting can become obsessive for me very quickly. I tell myself that it’s to make sure I get enough and then I’ll see the number as a maximum, not a minimum. Thank you though, I’m glad it was able to help you!!💞

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    • eMoMMa

      627d

      I understand completely!!! You are NOT alone! I overshot in my recovery big time. It lead to a snowball relapse, and I am now in the position of having to start over and endure all the gastric distress and psychological havoc all over again. It’s hard. I know. But we’re here for each other. God bless you.

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      • Sarah24

        613d

        @eMoMMa thank you so much💞 I’m sorry you’re going through it again. God bless you too. I’m here for you if you need. (Sorry I’m late, I got logged out and didn’t get the notifications💞)

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    • cinnamon_sunlight

      647d

      Things I’ve learned in recovery: 1. The massive overshoot usually is your body holding onto nutrients and is not forever. It will find your set point naturally. It’s usually not as massive as our EDs would have us think and is very common. Your body is used to survival and starvation, but it will slowly settle when it trusts it will be nourished again (which, is a really hard part of recovery as you deal with body image). 2. Overweight is truly an unscientific term that is based off of BMI, which is ultimately unscientific as well. BMI is a demographic measurement, not a health measurement. Don’t let that label convince you that you’re not still in recovery from an ED. Weight rebound and redistribution is all part of the rodeo. 3. This too shall pass 4. Your struggle is valid, your recovery is valid, the fact that you still have an ED while being in a different sized body is valid. 5. Keep believing that you deserve to eat, deserve freedom, and deserve to fight those ED thoughts.

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    • tcasey

      668d

      i understand how you feel. it’s hard to be in recovery when the focuses is on your body changing. is it you who doesn’t want to be in a bigger body or your ed? that’s what i ask myself, because the eating disorder changes your perception on everything

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      • Sarah24

        668d

        @tcasey I feel like it’s both. I grew up larger bodied and I never liked it and neither did anyone else. I always was so uncomfortable with myself and there hasn’t been a time in my life that I didn’t want to be smaller. But like even just energy and self image and sleep and all that was better when I wasn’t the size I am and I get it’s tricky but like I was never happy or comfortable. I don’t want this body. I wouldn’t want it even if I didn’t have an eating disorder. I don’t know, that’s probably just my Ed trying to convince me. I’m tired of fighting it

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        • tcasey

          668d

          @Sarah24 it’s a very difficult progress, i think you should be proud of your body for recovering! (i know that sounds condescending but i swear i don’t mean it that way) recovery isn’t linear, and body image sure isn’t either. i’ve found it easier to think of my body in a neutral sense rather than a “positive” sense because that is really hard to do, but at the end of the day you are wayyy more than your size!

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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