Dealing with In-Laws Who Don't Understand My Fibromyalgia

Don't get defensive. Just say you do not understand my pain just as I could never understand your pain.

Sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe you could try having them explain what they mean. It may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but by responding with that it may get them to stop and think about what they are saying. They are likely to down play your symptoms or give some answer that will probably be frustrating, but then you can kinda challenge them on it. For example if they say it isn't that bad but can't give a reason or give some random answer then you can ask them how they know the level or intensity of pain you feel. I find that asking questions doesn't come across as confrontation and it helps me understand what they are thinking so I can know how best to try and help them see my perspective. It may also be helpful to have data or information that comes from doctors or verified websites to reiterate your points. (They should just believe you, but sometimes additional voices help). One other thought is letting them see you on bad pain level days. Sometimes seeing is believing and not that you have to add more stress or problems to let them see you, but maybe just having them see first hand what it looks like may help. Hopefully some of these ideas are helpful. Best of luck with this, it's definitely frustrating, but I hope something works out!

The hardest thing is to try to get anyone who has never experienced or known anyone else with fibromyalgia to understand that it's actual pain and not mental problems. My entire family still talk about me like I'm trash and I've been dealing with it for over 10 years. All i can recommend is that you try not to listen to them. I've been contemplating ending it all because of this exact thing but i have kids who need me so that's on hold for now. Please be strong and don't let others get to you. Just talking about with someone who cares and who has your back. Who knows, maybe that person will be able to get through to them.

@IrisGrove I'm good and masking my pain as well but until they can experience it for themselves they'll never know. Anyways, gentle hugs if I may.