My Journey with Multiple Health Conditions and Gender Identity

hi, i’m salem, i use they/them pronouns, i’m 16 and i am currently being treated for pcos, pmdd, unspecified emotional dysregulation disorder (bpd or a bipolar variant), intermittent explosive disorder (fancy term for anger issues), adhd, and everything that comes along with that such as depression, anxiety, self harm, impulsive thoughts, etc. i will soon be examined for endometriosis, this decision was made because my mother suffers from this ailment. i am also in a very long journey to tackle this suspected heart condition that i have, having to wear a heart monitor for a week and everything (bla bla bla) just 3 days ago i was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (pcos), and because of this i now need to be tested for type two diabetes/insulin resistance. at 12 years old, i was psychologically evaluated very first time i was diagnosed with adhd and depression. i started taking adderall and prozac, but i have then switched multiple times through the years. i’m now on concerta. i used to take focalin but because of the US national shortage, it’s unavailable. i’ve never changed my prozac, just upped the dosage and i’ve never in almost 5 years have had a problem with it. it works as intended. when i was between the ages of 14-15, mood disorders came into the question. my mother has lived with bipolar 1 for her entire life and has been medicated for 20 (she is 40 now). apparently this makes me susceptible for other mood disorders, but so far, every single person that has evaluated me has either decides that my mood disorder is unspecified at the moment or could possibly be borderline personality disorder overlapping with severe adhd symptoms. however, since i’m 16, many professionals agree it’s unethical to diagnose a child with a personality disorder, so i’ve been in limbo for some years, and i probably will be for a while. even though i do not have an official diagnosis, i’m being treated for the symptoms, and that’s all that matters. regarding my gender identity, i came out as ftm in july 2020, and since then i’ve changed my pronouns from she/her > he/him > he/they > they/he > they/he/she > they/them. i am pretty comfortable with my pronouns at the moment and do not plan on changing them anytime soon. on the other hand, i’ve had about 30 names in the past 2 years and it has really frustrated my family. but salem is a name i have stuck with for 6 months and i don’t think it’s going away anytime soon. however, at home i am addressed as ronnie (he/she) at school i am addressed as bryan (he/him) and online/everyone else as salem (they/them) one day i would like to go on testosterone, but to many family and insurance complications have prevented a sit-down conversation. i’m about 80% supported as i view it. my grandmother absolutely wants me to get hormones, but since i live with my grandparents (long story short abusive dad, dissociated mother w/ stalkhome syndrome was a toxic environment and i moved 600 miles away for a healthier lifestyle ) and being on my unsupportive dad’s insurance that doesn’t even consider me his child anymore and a mother that’s caught in the middle of a custody battle, its…. a no for now. i’ve taken birth control since i was 13, but i wasn’t sexually active and i’m not today, but i need it because of the pmdd. additional estrogen doesn’t help me mentally, but physically it did help until the pcos came in, and now the estrogen and progesterone is the problem. i used to take the pill, but i stopped and went on the depo shot. but because of this pcos i will now need a iud to stop the heavy bleeding. anyway, besides all that i haven’t had any medical procedures yet unless you count 2 ultrasounds, one external and one internal, but i will have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed next week, and i’m due to get a hormonal iud to block symptoms of my pcos. my main concern is my misophonia. i’ve almost hurt my grandmother for having severe allergies. i know it’s not her fault but the sniffling i just can’t. i need advice. also, please feel free to leave any advice for any of my problems here, it would help tons.