Im 20 as well, and i can understand how bad it can feel, where all you see is darkness and you cant move a muscle becuase everything is moving so fast and all you want is your mind in tact. Most of the time i feel okay, but i never know if im outside of the tornado, or in the eye of thr storm. The thing that i realised for me personally at least, was that i needed to allow myself to cry. It might sound strange but before 6 months ago i never could cry. When the thing happend 6m ago, it broke me and i couldnt stop myself from crying because i was in so much pain. For the first time i didnt have anything blocking my emotions from coming out and it felt good. I dont know the answer but DM me if you want to talk about whatever.

Maybe try online you can find your people 🤗

I downloaded an app called Boo and I've made some good friends through there. It's a little nerdy with its Notifications (which I love i.e. dnd, LOTR, hp, etc.) It is also a dating app but you set it to friends and only people looking for friends can see you. You can also filter to only see men/women/nonbinary. It's great and the profiles are pretty in-depth too.

Bumble BFF, online communities related to your interests, and going out (alone or with friends) to do the things you enjoy will have you meeting lots of new people.

Look into community events and stuff like that near you! Start going out- even if alone. I made my current friendgroup by going out to small Asian restaurant and talking to one of the guys that worked there. Now I have a big group of friends I hang with every Tuesday:)