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Romeo

588d

just a rant. sorry. i'm a liar. i lie to my counselor, my psychiatrist, my psychologist, and my regular doctor. i don't lie about feeling depressed or suicidal. i lie about *not* feeling like that. i'm not ashamed i'm just scared of what my mother would think if she knew how i actually felt. i know there's patient-doctor confidentiality but i'm so paranoid that they'll tell her. i also don't what her to know because she tells everyone, saying it's nothing to be ashamed of. i'm not ashamed. i just don't think everyone had to know. when i came out (that's out loosely—she actually found out by snooping through my stuff when i was 12), my mother told her mom. i don't have any control over what people know about me because of her. her entire family knows that i have depression and anxiety because my mother thinks my mental health is something she gets to disclose. sorry for getting off track. the point is, i want to be able to talk to people about how i'm feeling but i don't trust anyone. i talk to my friends but not about the stuff that's really bothering me. i hate being like this. it would make everything so much easier if i could just TALK. but i can't. because i'm scared. anyways i'm going to continue playing the roblox death star tycoon game. thanks for reading.

Top reply
    • tiramisu

      586d

      I was scared of that too, confiding in someone and having them tell my parents, my parents didn't believe that I have anxiety and depression and they still dont believe it and I'm in my 20s and I live across the country. It's not worth keeping everything bottled, so you have everyone on this app to talk to, we won't tell your parents ❤️

    • tiramisu

      586d

      I was scared of that too, confiding in someone and having them tell my parents, my parents didn't believe that I have anxiety and depression and they still dont believe it and I'm in my 20s and I live across the country. It's not worth keeping everything bottled, so you have everyone on this app to talk to, we won't tell your parents ❤️

    • JingleP

      587d

      It sounds like your mother telling people maybe in hopes of you feeling less ashamed instead makes you uncomfortable with telling anyone. It would be great if she could be more respectful of your wishes. Even if you were actually ashamed, her telling everyone probably wouldn’t help. I feel for you! I hope sometime you can find at least one person that’s safe enough to tell. But not being able to talk about it is an understandable reaction. Hoping the best for you, enjoy your roblox 💕

    • kittycrime

      587d

      I get that. It sucks, feeling stuck in your own head and unable to talk about it, because people (parents especially) feel they have a right to share your experiences. I used to do that because anytime I opened up, people would tell me I didn't have a reason to feel that way or they would talk about how they had it worse. Mental health stigma is so damaging in this way, and I hope you find compassion and support in everyone's comments 💙

    • darkstarrynight

      587d

      I understand, I didn't tell anyone when I was depressed. Kinda glad I didn't because my mom works in mental health and could put me in a mental hospital. I don't tell my therapist or anyone when I have suicidal thoughts... because I never act on those thoughts (I never had or will make a suicide attempt, it's too risky for possible long time health damage). But most "Healthcare" people assume if you have suicidal thoughts, then you're going to act on it. So it would be pointless to watch my therapist, and other adults freak out for no reason.

    • lily234

      588d

      I know how you feel. When I was suicidal in high school I didn't tell anyone and suffered alone because I didn't have anything to turn to. When those feelings came back more recently I did trust someone. I can say it is good to speak to someone and not suffer alone in silence but also be careful of who you trust, someone who you know can be supportive but know their role and have boundaries. (The person I trusted cared so much that she overstepped and that wasn't healthy for our relationship in the long run.) You always have an anonymous community here to turn to if you don't have someone in your life you feel like telling 💕

    • JJ_lol

      588d

      I feel you, I know this might not seem helpful but you can talk to me ik you might be to scared which is fine but I'll listen to everything. 💕

    • Keisha

      588d

      i hope one day you’ll be able to talk openly and not be scared. we’re here for you 💕

    • K.C

      588d

      I feel ya.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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