its much harder when you live with them than when you dont, my mom isnt diagnosed but displays a lot of the traits. i just spent a lot of time alone in my bedroom while i lived with my parents. when it was especially bad, i would avoid being in the public spaces of the house except for at dinner. i also did a lot of discord calls with my friends so i could grab dinner and go back to my room. try to find ways to set boundaries, be firm with them. if she tries to cross them, leave the house for a bit. go for a walk, go spend time with a friend, go to the library, etc. you know your situation and what ways you cab work around it better than anyone. you're an adult and you deserve your own space. you could also always see if you have a good friend who could house you one day a week or something like that, just to ease the burden of full-time living with your mom. the same friends might make roommates - ask around among friends, especially if they're also still living at home. and as long as you are safe, you don't need to worry too much about the state of your relationship with her - it will get way, way easier to have a healthy relationship once you're not living together and healing can happen then. for now, focus on keeping yourself safe from the effects of the clashing bpd