The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Mental Health

if anyone's in the mood for a read. So when I was really young 4 or so. My mother moved us away to a place far from any of my extended family. My mother being the person that she was instilled a psychological fear in me of her. She was mean and my father was no different he didn't want to be a father. Last time I saw father was through jail glass... Didn't leave the best impression. Felt very isolated my mother started dating a man child more or less her toy. I felt like I had no one. Then his brother started to come around a young. Well he ended up being my babysitter. Not the brightest idea on my mothers part. Unfortunately he turned a disgusting situation into a normal thing in a five year olds mind it didnt help that I saw my mother kissing other woman. I became impressionable that oh these things can be ok. So he had his way made it "FUN". This continued for sometime i can't remember how long but long enough. So when I moved back to my grandfathers house It was normal for a while. Then I got friends not the right ones. One of them became a little to close to me and started doing the same things that happened to me before and unfortunately it was a normal thing at that point. We eventually got told to leave my grandfathers house he was selling and remarried I was going into third grade. It stopped no one touched me i was finally seeing my true attraction for woman I went through most of my life enjoying my true self. there was still problems at home. My mother consistently moved from man to man constantly putting her happiness first before me and then before my sister after she was born. there was one that was around for 10 years, a real peice of work thankfully not sexually abusive but an alcoholic, a woman abuser, and a bit of a addict. unfortunately this was also around the time I found out that my mother was a user. she had been using hard drugs since I was in barely walking. I was disappointed I had to be about 15 or so when I found this out, I was told to mind my own business. they were nights that my and my sister wouldn't sleep and have school the next morning due to this mess my mother called a home. I use to think my family was all I had and I needed to keep it safe and close... Today I struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD and OCD intrusive thoughts about my relationship regardless of how much I love my girlfriend, my sexuality because of the things I was exposed to as a child and being told this is fun then learning in life later that it was all wrong and disgusting. I'm quite sickened with myself I'm told its not my fault but the disgusting doesn't go away very easy and the questions, insult, and assumptions about myself are worse then any bully or any thing I had ever heard out of my mothers mouth at 28 I dont feel like I should feel this way but here we are.