Milklover000

323d

I feel like I never experience happiness anymore. The last time I felt happy was 5 years ago. I know what happiness feels like and I genuinely feel like there’s no serotonin in my brain anymore.

Depression

Fibromyalgia (FM)

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  • Snowy

    323d

    That's a really sucky feeling. I know what that's like. I'm really sorry you feel like that. Maybe time for a medication adjustment?

  • Milklover000

    323d

    I’m switching from Zoloft to Prozac !! So hopefully that makes a difference

  • Snowy

    323d

    Yay! I hope so. Those feelings are terrible...

  • RandomRules

    323d

    I really relate. 😔 I sometimes worry that my brain has shrunken (since I read that the brains of depressed people are smaller than those who were not facing clinical depression—these are obviously brains that science uses after someone passes). I’ve had very little joy in the past 5-6 years. I understand.

  • keroppi

    322d

    I know the feeling. I guess you just have to find the happiness and joy in the little things, like doing your hair or showering, getting a full nights rest, etc.

  • JenniferT

    322d

    Do you have a pet? Some days my cat is the only reason I choose to stay alive.

  • RandomRules

    322d

    Me too — 5 years. I had a respite early 2020 (before pandemic) when I left an intensive outpatient program. Meds were switched up a bit. But then the malaise, stuckness, SI returned, as it always does after a short spurt of meds working before they stop working. It is hard for me to see things getting better. I live alone. I also have CFS/ME and fibromyalgia. New diagnoses. But depression has followed me my whole life since a teenager. But the past five years (almost 6 now) have been unbearable. Holding on for others essentially. When alone, dealing with this stuff is like two full time jobs. Plus, I help out a sick aunt. There’s stress that shuts me down. It *doesn’t* numb me out… I fall into an apathy so deep that I feel like I’m just taking up space. All my accomplishments are behind me. I never feel like going out, breaking out from isolation (even though I know that would help, but feels impossible), or motivated to do any work. I’m behind on everything—wayyy behind. No joy for 99.9% of the time. Sorry to ‘vent’ in my sad-ass way.

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